just took a sink shower in Arbys bathroom
Its where this guy sticks a jar up his ass. Be prepared to be suspended between vomiting and cheering.
I just don't understand how my upright asian catholic roommate is getting more than me.
You were so high at Ikea last night that you were convinced you could speak Swedish. The whole the time you were our navigator and when we got to the cashier you were hitting on the lady. When she gave you her number you told her you were saving her number as Inglfurfta cuaue she must be swedish since she works there.
she said she'd blow me if I bought one of her sorority raffle tickets. Goddamn it's gettin easy
You Were screaming "Im trying to get it in" and "stop cock blocking" while i threw you in the car
Please tell me there isn't another video of me on the toilet...
They're tearing apart the house I lost my virginity in:(
I woke up this morning to my house being turned into a bad European dance club at 8:30am. Do you know what "UNS UNS UNS" sounds like at 8:30am? Murder. It sounds like murder.
The only person I have to bring is crazy hospital guy
HE'S NOT INVITED!!!
Wait do you remember that guy last night asking to use my nose ring to open his beer.......
I don't think he cares about your inhospitable uterus.
When someone's woman crush wednesday is an ultrasound of her unborn daughter...
I can't
Caprisun cuts tequila surprisingly well...
I'm going to blackout. I realize this
Randomize
