I don't know what part of vegas I'm in but its definately the wrong part
i think there mostly mad about the fact it was 6 pm not the fact i blew a .255
Also, the drinking age in Japan is 20. At what point in the sky am I allowed to start downing alcohol?
Chick last night said she only gets off if she rubs her childhood blanket her parents gave her during sex
Putting a positive pregnancy test next to my condoms in my drawer so I remember why I always need to use condoms
There's 50 people in our house, none of them are wearing shirts. The keg has been relocated twice and our bathroom door is missing again...when will we ever learn?
Apparently getting dressed is an all-day activity.
I made everything so magnificently awkward in under 15 seconds. I am magic.
Also, lets remember that we have known each other for nearly a decade and our two most recent photos to one another are boxes of plan b
Decided I'm going to wear a shirt that says "I'm sorry" whenever we go back to that fraternity
Every FB picture she has looks like it's from the POV of the guy she's blowing
So the revenge porn my ex posted just resulted in a contract with a gay porn company. I'm going to make $8,000 this weekend. That would a breakup checkmate. Are you joining me in the legislative committee hearing tomorrow?
I apparently lifted the young child over my head yelling "Victory!" after that last game of pool, right before doing some Girls Just Wanna Have Fun karaoke.
I've realized that drinking at your apartment alone on a Tuesday probably isn't a good thing.
I know it's New Year's Eve but if you're going to have a bunch of chicks playing strip go fish in our apartment I need a heads up.
Randomize
