Why's my alcoholism being used to prove a point?
He tricked me...the first song on his sex mix was trey songz but the rest were techno....i can't walk straight now
You asked my mom "who the fuck drives four hours to sleep in a guys bed and not touch his penis"
We made a drinking game out of Project Runway. Gay guys are so fun.
He just laughed at his drink laid on the floor and crawled to the bathroom
my left tit made it into the crop job on your profile pic, I knew it was good for other things
its warm now so i can go back to sleeping with guys based on their fuckability rather than how much warmth they generate.
I know you're on vacation but you should know I just walk of shamed through a hotel lobby while leaving a threesome on Friday the 13th. Fuck superstition, I win.
Oh man, buzzed lunch fridays almost got out of hand.
Ski vacations are for hooking up with randoms. It's like I don't even know you
I unknowingly motorboated my boyfriend's ex-gf last night. Yay me!
You left me a drunk voicemail of you describing your pizza to me at 2 AM
Its my nipple ring piercing anniversary. We need to celebrate.
You left me with 12 red bulls and a bottle of vodka. What did you expect?
I slept with six men with different nationalities this week. Who says I'm not a woman of culture?
Randomize
