eric is really sick so I'm taking care of him! :(
just blow him with soup in your mouth.
he recorded me cumming with the t-pain app on his iphone
anyone who has a picture of a ferrari with the caption "mAh DreAM caR" is getting denied as my facebook friend.
Walk of shame... his parents made me go to church with them first. in my club top sweat pants and slippers. i just slapped god in the face
I'll call you tomorrow. I'm ok and back i love you goodnight.
I stole a bike. Here's a pic
I told my mom about how you got white girl wasted and sobbed about Whitney Houston. She sends her condolences.
tell her thanks so much
Love is....waiting for your girl to throw up her shot in the bathroom...then handing her her beer. Game face.
can i text him and be like "oh yeah, forgot i kinda made out with a girl this weekend. For future reference, does this count as cheating?" ?
I tried to find the bar, ended up at a car dealership. Then the alarms went off.
Why did I puke in my shower caddy last night
The topic of sex in the jamba banana suit has come up on multiple occasions. We're just waiting for a moment to try it out.
At least I remembered to wear a bra. I feel like that's a big accomplishment right now
2 girls slept in my bed with me. 3 more girls slept on a mattress on my floor. The furthest I got was cuddling. Here's my man card.
I farted in his bed and then in my drunken stupor grabbed hair defanging spray to cover up the stench.
He started humming a moment like this when I was taking off his pants.
Randomize
