you're kinda like the weird girl from The Breakfast Club after the makeover. i mean you're pretty, but you're still weird as fuck
I'm still reeling over the fact that you beat us all at Risk while you were flat on your ass drunk and falling asleep on South America.
Mother nature decided I wasn't going to be a whore today. Fuck her.
For his 21st I'm getting a fancy hotel that way he can at least sleep in a nice bathtub
oh my god i'm in a crawl space
I think rendering her infertile would be a valid community service project
I think our camping neighbours like us. We're the drunk girls trying to chop firewood with no pants on at 3 in the afternoon.
I mean, I'm twenty four years old and I've never paid for my own drink. You can't say that any of your ex girlfriends boobs are THAT great.
in my defense, he kept drinking all of my water.
he had diabetes and you told him to stop being a pansy!
Yeah. Rock bottom was him passing out and saying "are you putting a condom on me?" and me covering his mouth and saying shhhhh
I stood on the corner waiting to be picked up, dry heaving, and trying to block out the sun.
I also got a mission for you and you're gonna love it. Biggest. Hospital. Party. Ever.
Also, don't forget your plan to die young at a shrooms-fueled orgy.
Learn from my mistakes. DO NOT try to steam a garment of clothing while you are wearing it. The burn is not worth the de-wrinkle.
Ok so I need a recap of last night...
YOU SPENT SIX DOLLARS AT NICKEL BEER NIGHT!!! How's that
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