By the grace of god and the ingenuity of Alexander Graham Bell, this text message is made possibe: YOU ARE A WHORE
There's guys at my school running around throwing potatoes shouting "remember the famine." makes me proud to be Irish.
there's no toilet paper. I'm using wheat bread.
Coming out of the blackout mid beej was nice. Seeing her face was not.
After she lost the bet I made her get on one knee so she could "Te-blow me"
When's a good time to tell your boyfriend you've slept with his ex girlfriend?
His constant posting of "inspirational" Taylor Swift quotes over the past 3 days has me a little worried. It's like, holy shit dude, you're almost 30.
I'm making poor life decisions again. Tune in tomorrow to see how much I hate life.
You mistakenly try to piss in a cactus bush ONE TIME and are forever dubbed cactus ass
woke up. showered n got ready. had sex. and was still 15 minutes early to work... its gonna be a good day!
she broke a 50 dollar bottle of alcohol. then passed out in front of her car and got sprayed by a skunk
Long story short I shit on a sidewalk while walking with multiple people. Then sprinted around the streets of Tallahassee in only gym shorts as I tore my toga off and wore it as a cape.
i'll explain later but cookie monster is playing the xylophone
I woke up this morning hand cuffed to the bed with three bruised ribs and Amy written in lipstick on my chest... what happen lastnite??
I just bought a slurpee and condoms. God bless America.
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