Went to gas station for smokes. three cops pulled in. got gas i didn't need. found diff gas station.
good choice.
He told me he wanted to break up so he could get "closer to God."
Does God suck his dick?
I'm going on a nature/throwup walk. Don't lock me out of the apartment.
She sent me a text saying she picked out 17 different Halloween costumes for our kids when they hit the age of 4... The cling factor should have me running right now but honestly I'm just curious
Your ability to be a slut in your nightmare astounds me
I was actually high enough at that point that I was just casually following your glowing footsteps like in Avatar while we ran from the cops.
we are out of drugs. and patience. please bring former.
I left a care package of Jack Daniel's, pancake mix and porn in your apartment. Merry fucking Christmas.
first reaction to dying the pubes purple - awesome. Reaction after I explain the process - not awesome. Hypothesis? when girls find out you know to bleach and dye your hair, they're turned off.
Decided in my tanked state last night purchase 2 weeks worth of xanax, so I can guess my way thru this week and finals. Soberly, I decided it would be a great way to test my knowledge of finance.
A drawer in my room has nothing but a large feather quill, a wine glass, and a 15" Bowie knife. If you could put my life in a drawer I think that would be it.
It was a "my chaser needed a chaser" kind of night
She's on her period. You don't know what fear is.
Oh my god if I have to go on fetlife to find a guy who will fuck me right around here, I'm going to scream.
Apparently stoned me thought eating chips in the shower was a good idea.
Randomize
