Wasted at the beach. Toasting underage, overdeveloped girls. God bless 'em.
She kept screaming "yeah! You pick up my books!" the whole time. . .
The mexican place next the the funeral home has dollar margaritas, our grandfather would want us to act on this... trust me i know.
I think I've reached that age where I should start dating "congrats" and not "are you keeping it?"
But it's not about our feelings, it's about making the men we sleep with feel awful about their lives
sooo... you have no idea who nailed their tubesocks to my wall?
Are they engaged or just dating? Girlfriends come and go but the memory of sex at the pool last forever.
Would I chase a raccoon with a flaming stick sober?
So I'm guessing that puking on a camper is a straight path to instant termination?
Its perfect, I supply the pot she makes the brownies. I love the culinary dept.
I AM SMARTER THAN EVERY FUCKBOY WHO HAS EVER SWIPED LEFT ON ME
I just announced to Denny's that I'm not wearing a bra.
I said, hypothetically speaking, if I was going to be having some rough sex Friday night, when WOULD be the best time for a massage, mother dear?
Did you pee in the oven last night??
In order to get rid of my bladder infections I must give up caffeine, nicotine and tight pants. It's like my pussy is an angry dictator or something
Randomize
