Black out sex on the trampoline? yes please.
normally i'm against accepting campers on facebook but this one saw me giving head to another counselor and didn't say shit about it to my boss so i feel like shes earned the right to look at my sloppy drunk pictures
We just found a handle of vodka in our fridge and no one knows how it got there. God I love spring break.
I walked into the garage and you were telling the bikes that you were not that drunk.
I told him I'd put in a good word. And the word of the day is: NEGATIVE
Dreamed I made out with a stranger after falling out of a car, let's make this happen tonight.
I wanna give a stern lecture to whoever invented pants cause they are hard right now
Its the least I can do really, I mean, I did sleep with her husband...
There is a hole in her door about 2 inch in diameter. You may see me on YouPorn
I've got mace and a condom. Ready to roll either way and keeping my pimp hand strong.
I got whiskey, so I think the blizzard and I are at an even match
Don't ever feel guilty about what you put in your mouth best advice my gma ever gave me lmao
You got me 4 pizzas and i just saw this. I'm too drunk for this shit. I just yelled "4 pizzas holy shit!" At the pizza dude
Got my period and a UTI on the same day. Fuck you, Sunday.
Stacy was in the bathroom puking, so he peed out the window. We were eight stories up.
Randomize
