and after you realized your puke was bright blue, you started crying hysterically and screaming, "I DON'T WANT TO BE A SMURF!" no more uv blue for you.
he had his head down and said he was listening for the buffalo, he had to still be drunk.
you started keeping track of only every even numbered drink you had
in my defence, i did try to get you to put your shirt back on, then you screamed at me to stop telling you what to do
I think I hit my head on every surface in that apartment last night
FYI you are now my emergency contact at plan parenthood
The old guy next door tried to get me to go to his apartment for shots formoonshine. =-0
If that weren't so sketchy I would encourage it
Yeah it was almost as sketchy as a white panel van pulling up offering candy
Me: 10% human, 90% poor drunken life choices.
Like not to be gross, he was eating me out while I was smoking a bowl. It was like a rap video
You gave me the best orgasm of my life. I'm buying you a house
I wiped my ass with some girl's sock, I would honestly admit if I hate Caitlin's sandwich.
Good god, my descendants are going to be fucked.
Whatever, ill dance on the bar at applebees, don't try and act like you're above it.
I don't remember anything beyond the drinking game but I woke up in my own pee this morning so I'm just gonna go out on a limb and say I overdid it.
I’ve got full Covid immunity, blonde hair and great tits! I’m basically unstoppable
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