Have fun with your cool freestyling girlfriend!
She can rap better than you any day
do you remember wearing her cheetah rainboots and making bacon shirtless?
You stood in front of a yellow Camaro and kept yelling at it to "Transform already!!!!".. yeah, I'd say you were pretty wasted.
I'm at work, still drunk. Can you turn on the radio? If the station goes off the air I passed out. Can't get fired. Haven't slept yet.
You tried to convince our cab driver that your $2 bill was worth $11.70
Woke up to pictures of me cooking wings with a blow torch.
I found what appears to be half an E pill and part of a tooth in my pocket this morning
I guess birthday shots aren't always the answer
Its not that hard, just find a girl reading 50 shades of grey and point her my way
We're having play-off hate sex for a sport I don't even understand. Go USA!
Does Jesus have blonde highlights? Pretty sure I saw him in a lavender shirt and Sperry's.
I'm gonna eat you out. But for science
And then he said, "let's have sex and I'll send you home with enchiladas."
It's Jesse McGoddamn Cartney, the whole world sings that shit
Dude like i feel like i did ALL OF THE DRUGS yesterday
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