operation "beaches make me wet" is a go
before i die, we are going to oregon and playing oregon trails for real. like putting things in a hat & people will pull out whether they live or die. and they die of fun things like typhoid, dysentary, or hunting accident.
And when I look at him, I just want him to say "I love you" in between deep thrusts and hard grunts.
I can make a handprint turkey for extra credit in history. I feel like the word college should be in quotes on the school letterhead.
Either your mom needs to stop making spagetti or we need to lay off the anal. I cant tell you how much im in pain.
Spagetti cuz im not giving up the other one.
just printed out my drug dealers resume for him. guess the ecstasy scene slows down when kids move back home for the summer...
Just got hit on by a 50 year old Englishman who is now swapping drunken racing stories with my mom. Live Mariachi band in the background. How's that for a wake?
I'm going through a really dark time right now
I don't want to hear it man. I just jerked it to a pic of my ex wife in a bikini. Buck up
i came outside and he was eating her out on my lawn. i refuse to pick up the dog shit in my yard so i hope he chose the spot wisely
You threw up on his face 22 hours ago and now he's here holding your hand. I think he likes you.
BOOOOOOOOOOOO *takes away your hoe card*
Being home for break is weird, just had a full convo with my dad about what I wanted for dinner, while a dildo was on top of me under my comforter
He'd never survive you. Is there a boot camp for pre-heather training?
Drunk and bowling. Only good things can come of this
I love you more than sex with randoms.... and we all know how much I love that shit.
Randomize