I cant date a girl that sucks dick at sucking dick
So, I just sold my textbook to have money for Plan B.
Now there are nude photos of that bangin hot Russian spy chick...this is officially the best scandal ever.
You working tonight?
Keg. Hottub. Wearimnh a 8th graders bikini. Mess
Hungover/still slightly drunk at work. Opened a bag of cheese with a box cutter. Pretty sure I need stitches.
She lost her glasses and we found them on the roof. Don't ask questions. Kings cup was intense last night.
Remember last time I drank with my mom? I asked if I got my dick sucking abilities from her.
if you fuck our toilet off the wall again, i'm going to be so mad.
Dude we both faced 40s of steel reserve which is like saying, "Hey, I'm a complete piece of shit!"
So many weird people in this class. I can practically taste their unwanted virginities. They taste bad.
What is it in my brain that makes me look at a penis and think "that belongs in my mouth"?
am drunk, naked, and blow drying cat. need adult supervision
He told me he would make me come so hard I would throw up. I'm actually horrified that he thinks that's something any person would want
I'll text you when I have a mental breakdown about it.
Please do.
I had to remind him last night as he had his arm around me, "We hook up, we don't cuddle!"
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