Are we still dressing up as garden gnomes for halloween?
No. I would like to get laid again before I graduate.
so when we got to the frat house he had a travel sized toothpaste and toothbrush for me and gave me a pair of his shorts and a girl's sorority t shirt...something tells me he's done this before
before tonight, i was terrified of what tequila would make me do. but all it did was make me hook up with a movie star. sooo basically tequila's my new fave
He met a random girl on the bus home and decided to go to Spain with her. The blackout decisions are becoming internationally epic. He has work in the morning.
I was trying to sing daddy wasnt there from austin powers but apparently I was crying and and yelling jibberish...I get to into this shit
Turns out puking in your mask makes it even harder to see out of the mask..
This football player keeps talking about his drunk dad. I think he may start crying. Does this deserve a roll tide?
Here's my first problem: I'm drunk
The part of "Dave" will now be played by "Rob." Rob, why don't you unzip and show Dave why that is.
After this week, alcohol is mandatory.
I like it here so far, only people are a lot less accepting of my terrible decisions and it's cramping my style
quickly learned not to sleep with your roommate and work colleague in the same week
Dude, I'm at a wedding and there's a mashed potato bar and bacon strip appetizers. I'm getting all emotional.
The bar brought brought it upon themselves, they played billy joels piano man before closing, it's not our fault the bar isn't a bar anymore, right?
Just told my mom life fisted my asshole. She looked at me with complete understanding. I'm scared...
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