His car is carseat is compatible. I checked while we were banging in the back seat...
Very nice. It looks like a Fisher-Price My First Dildo, but still very nice.
You're going to the beach with me so we can have beach sex whether you like it or not. Get over it. Kthx.
He had a shameless baby voice when he was talking to my dog. There's no way I'm making it through the night with my clothes on.
Bombed my 8 a.m. exam and the liquor store doesn't open till noon. Drinking unfinished beers from last night till they open.
you were leaning up against the wall pulling your shirt up asking girls to dance on you. your courage to do that is both admirable and frightening.
You need to let him know my only agenda is coke and sadness.
I'll make some time for you! I don't know how long you need to get off, but I should only need 2-7 minutes, pending what kind of socks I have on.
Brandon just showed up at my place with a florida state cheerleader he met in vegas durin spring break. His life is a fucking movie
I still have the video of you three making soup in my kitchen and asking random people for permission DURING the party, not after like usually
Don't remember, didn't happen
I HAVE THE VIDEO YOU DICK IT HAPPENED
There's only two more days left to say you saw me naked this year.....I'll bring the booze, you got all of next year to rationalize why.
You're a goddess. Probably of destruction and dick jokes, or some shit, but man, lesser bitches wish they could be half as fab.
We drunkenly made out once four years ago and then he immediately vomited and honestly I've never gotten over him
Um I got a ride home from the bar with two random boys and one tried to bang me on my parents riding mower
Don’t worry I was with my ex husband for 10 years and he could never remember the year I was born, when our dating anniversary was or what year I graduated high school. But I still know that mother fuckers SSN lol
Randomize
