Hey I found a place that'll do a hand job for 42 bucks
even if everyone didnt know them screaming eskimo brothers and high fiveing over my head kinda gave it away
She got a tattoo in memory of her cat, my attratcion to her is no more.
I made a mac n' cheesicle. Better in my head than in real life. Gonna keep smoking to see if it gets better.
I'm sorry. Both for you two breaking up and because I just ate some of your cheez it's.
I want to apologize in advance for texting you a picture of my penis tonight.
Not only is he in the circus, the man survived a near death experience and has an accent. She might as well have found a unicorn. This shit just doesn't happen in real life. Where did she meet this magical creature?
She had sex in a public bathroom and slept on a couch in the dorm lobby. It's only Monday
Remember that time you bought snap bracelets on Amazon and they sent you 300 pregnancy tests instead? Amazon knows.
i woke up in just my socks. my clothes were outside, he had rugburn on his elbows, and a window was broken.
Got too starbucks. 3out of the 4 girls working i have ducked and haven't ever called. My coffee has dick written on it. It may contain spit by pumpkin lattes are only once a year
I chatted up the pastor's son on Grindr during the service. Still ridiculing my decision to go to church this morning?
Please remind me next time not to call the ex who cheated on me to cry about the ex who forgave me for putting him in prison. It would be much appreciated.
Christ I forgot how flexible you need to be for a decent sext pic. Jesus.
how early is too early to start drinking over the gilmore girls revival
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