i'm only drinking out of pineapples from now on.
we need to get ahold of those "sexting" teens on tyra. HAWT!
wasnt one 13?
Well I don't think you could recreate that hangover if you tried. It was like the perfect storm of hangovers.
I was hidding Easter eggs in CHURCH this morning when one of the older men came up to me and said "I always knew you'd be a bunny just not the Easter kind" ... Our congregation obviously has high hopes for their pastor's daighter
Accidentally just signed something at work 'lotus flower' I need to keep my stripper life separate from real life.
Woke up in my own bed with a "New Years Eve 2011" bar bracelet on. Both of these things confuse me.
Woke up this morning with a junior police officer sticker over my nipple this morning.
you stumbled up the stairs in your heels, pulled 23 one-dollar bills out of your bra and then went and puked in the toilet. didnt say a single thing to me the whole time
Um...any recollection of peeing in the pantry
Might be time to reevaluate my life. Banned from red roofs inns. Apparently I puked in ice machine. 3 hotels in a year.
Watching the wiggles while tripping on acid is the scariest fucking thing of all time
I apologize for tapping your ass. It was a friendly tap. Like Casper. Ya know
maybe facebook could make a notification like "someone tagged a photo of that guy you used to bang and still think is really hot with his shirt off"
That's true because who the fuck doesn't love Harry Potter and beer
i black out too much to be "responsible"
Randomize
