Sitting at a red light. Windows are down. I'm blasting Gaga's "Disco Stick" and doing an interpretive dance to it because I think I'm hilarious. Look to the left and see two Phi Delts that I know with their windows down. They are horrified. I am probably going to lose their Facebook friendships.
I just got sparklers from my secret santa. Drunken sledding just got to a whole new level of dangerous
Our professor just said "No class today, go get stoned." A guy seriously walked over and hugged him.
my sombrero is too big for the bathroom
You were fucking on a porch at a party, not much privacy should be expected
Wedding cake is always the best dance partner. In the corner. With a jack and coke. And while I'm crying. Listening to "Almost Paradise".
Makes Sense, i generally dont want the same person two days in a row. Its like what i pick for supper, i like variety
I think Vodka is my favorite. Everything else ties for second.
First sunburned tits of the season. And it's only April... I feel like it's going to be a good summer.
The fact that it neither of us came up with the reason of "it's morally and ethically wrong" speaks volumes about this relationship
Me and some girl at the bar just high fived for not wearing bras
Why would you waste your Ritalin on your children?
All the movies on cable here are either porn or Bollywood. I am never leaving this hotel.
I'm saying "I told you so" now so that I don't slow down to say it on the way to grab the fire extinguisher
I'm currently drunk proofing my room
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