Friends don't let friends fuck ugly girls. WALK AWAY FROM HER!
this kid at 40 friday greeted another kid by saying "heeey farmville neighbor"
dude.
yep. needless to say i didn't meet anyone and spent yet another friday night masturbating.
My parents just suggested that we tailgate the midnight christmas service. this is my gene pool.
LSHMSFOAIDMT = laughing so hard my sombrero falls off and I drop my taco.
It has moved into the cliche "thin line between love and hate" real quick. With her. Not Taco Bell.
You were so high that you only FaceTimed me so that you could stare into your own eyes and not actually say anything
I just used a thesaurus to write a sext...
I'm gonna go ahead and say I love our drinking habits but anytime we roundhouse a 750 of Schnapps on the way to a non competitive bowling league we might have problems
I haven't even had my coffee yet and you're being slutastic
I know I'm high, but the dude in target definitely just told me that it's best to walk through every door in life like you're a t-rex....
Yeah. I'm so over work, that I'm not even satisfied pretending to work anymore. I just flat out want to go home. Fuck this job
Wait. We seriously played strip beer pong at the bar last night. Who said I never came up with good ideas
I have chicken nuggets, lube and brand new batteries, he can stay at work charting all weekend for all I care, I'm set.
Dude I had sex with her and she STILL thinks I'm gay. I don't know what else to do.
just so you know. the medical term for period cramps is mettelschmerz.
glad to know something that causes such misery in my life has such a laughable name.
Randomize
