Jerry, you need to find god
The best feeling....farting and having the bubble hit your balls
you ran down to the water at 3am and rolled in the sand and ran around screaming that you were the corn dog monster.
That's cool how's he been?
He got hit in the face with a beer bottle so he has two black eyes and 13 stitches.. He hasnt changed much.
I just want one of her status not to be about Jesus.
Ohhhh sweet! I may be down for that. I'll be a german beer girl probably passed out on a park bench somewhere.
youre always welcome to strip dance on tables with me Mag. what are friends for.
So we were having sex and his roommate walks in eating a bag of chips. Then proceeds to talk to us about his bitch of a professor.
Did he at least offer you guys chips?
Blah blah blah. Just come home and put a baby in me.
He's pretty cool once you ignore the fact that he's trying to get into your pants
I told you, I'm taking a sledgehammer to your walls. Fuck your walls.
I'm Batman.
the only thing I remember was some guy took out his fake eye to use it for beer pong
I have already been up, showered, had a cup of coffee brought to me, added a little rum to cure the hangover, had sex and kicked him out and it's only 1pm. Successful day so far.
you know it was a good night when you wake up with a medal around your neck
Well when I woke up this morning I didn’t think I’d be masturbating to my own LinkedIn profile today but here we are
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