Oww! U thought rug burn was bad! Fuckin carseat burn hurts like a mother!!!
Wtf?
Use the slutty part of ur brain.
I just saw a commercial for "tickle me elmo hands" and I am almost 100 percent sure that at the end elmo said "yeaaaaa boooyyyyyy"
Because of no shave november, it's no boys december... pay back
Im not gonna remember this tomorrow but the real money is in coke i wanna get a dark wood desk and cell coke then i can own taco bell and the xxl chalupa will be mine
Forgot to mention there might be a picture of me being thrown in the air while at a Mexican restaurant
I know you don't remember, but the teeth marks on my face say it happened.
He added me on Facebook. I'm pretty sure he got my name from the inside of the bra I had lost in the frat house.
She said I was the most selfish person in bed she's ever been with and she's fucked Tucker Max.
Honestly, if you can handle putting socks on you can handle a condom.
Guess who was PASSED OUT ON A BMW. I shit you not
Stop it right now
This time face forward
Do I need to call and sing lullabies? Because that's creepy, but I'm a really good friend.
You know it was one hell of a night when you need to use your own thong to wipe cum off your face.
I chose not to drink last night but drinking chose me
Woah don't start going all boyfriend on me now, you're here for one thing and one thing only and that's sex, hot shameless sex.
DUDE NEVER CALL THE COPS BACK
Randomize
