He had a number 3 tattooed on his penis. And when I asked what it meant, he said " you know like dale earnhardt, the intimidator".
Whats the count minus fat chicks?
i think i'd rather have a trophy of a like jizz stained curtain or something
I'm sorry I dragged a dildo (on a leash) into your room last night.
Yeah! I was just fired because there was an over hire and the new girl is hotter than me. Seeing as how the new girl is my baby sister I think punching my manager is excusable.
So our trip to Disney World ended in the three of us stripping at a gay club in orlando.
HELP! How do I get paint off the dog?
Remember the thing I sent you? "Often complex problems are best solved by thinking like an animal." Hump away!
When I wake up, please remind me why my shoe is in the toilet, my shower is filled with jello, and there is a naked girl sleeping on my coffee table holding a bag of Cheetos. that is all.
If I can ever get control of my legs I will be home. Thanks... and again sorry about your bed.
I had sex while you were puking this morning and I'm sorry. Kind of.
It's ok. I had sex while you were drunk crying last night. We're even.
How did delivering mac n cheese to my drug dealer become a two hour outing?
I am talking to a naked lesbian about robots. I think this means I win life.
Is it in poor taste to drop acid before midnight mass?
I love this.
He went three whole days without making a star wars reference, of course he got sex
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