she looked like the bat from fern gully.
gin and tonic in a mug. no limes so im using canned madarin oragnes. classy or trashy?
homeless.
Ok see being that I'm not present or participating your vague texts "neeeeed that" and "vagina" leave a lot to question.
there's a guy pushing a keg up the street in a shopping cart. you have to love graduation
Just had flashback to me showering u with stir fry as u rythed on the floor
She acts like a 3 year old but with fantastic tits. This girl is the reason women are objectified
I vaguely remember Matt shouting something about "GET ON MY LEVEL!" at the bartender before he attempted to order a case of tequila from him.
that's how you measure success
By how bad my vagina hurts on a Tuesday morning while I'm trying to figure out how I got white girl wasted on a Monday?
Just caught myself checking an online porn site while in a strip club. Might have a problem.
All right, sex is off the menu for you. Now you just get friendship. So I can spend marginally less time being annoyed by you.
I'm still depressed that I forgot my ice cream at your place
So the other day we finished having sex and he literally said "what are we going to do about your vagina?" Like, I hadn't even dismounted him yet.
On another note I never thought having a drug addicted stalker would prove useful
before i went to bed i wrote myself a note that says 'i feel all swirly'
My parents left me the house for the weekend...you know what that means?!
Harry Potter marathon and no pants.
Randomize
