I'm scared
There's nothing to be scared of. My penis is average size.
That's what I'm afraid of
Last night I ate parmesan cheese straight out of the container while watching Chelsea Lately. Look at what happens to me when you leave.
Also you were throwing your phone yelling this is durable as shit
Someones grandma was rubbing my back. I'm way too high for this.
lol i'm looking through my photos and there's this giant section of just dudes wearing murses
I knew it would get worse when I said I think your roommate is watching and he looked over at him and said ... So?
There was an unopened condom by my car when I went to pick it up this morning. Someone may have fucked on the hood of my car last night. Don't think it was me but I can't rule it out 100%.
you threw me on the ground pryed my purse out of my hands screaming " I JUST WANNA HOLD IT A LITTLE BIT". later i found you putting on my lip gloss.
Have you ever eaten pizza and gotten your dick sucked at the same time? Because I have pizza.
I'm supposed to be at work in 10 min, I just woke up and am 45 min away...tinder for the win
What type of bandaid should I use on my clit
I feel like him using the excuse "I'm not a fan of lying" to stop me from sleeping around is hypocritical since he's cheating on his wife with me.
The room got awkwardly silent right as i yelled "leave him alone! I know plenty of straight guys who like to suck dick!"
OMG OMG OMG!!!! I made his penis bleed!! I repeat I MADE HIS PENIS BLEED!!!!
The dog destroyed my vibrator and swallowed several pieces. Vet gave us a laxative so now I’m checking lots of dog shit and having no orgasms. Plus the cute vet knows I don’t get enough dick, so that’s just great
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