you know you are hungover when... you set your alarm for the next time you think you are going to throw up
They should make Glad Forceflex condoms.
I had one margarita and got the worst headache of my life... its like my liver has senior week ptsd
Escorted a stripper to her car last night,and all I got was a "Thanks" and "Go Steelers."
I want a grilled cheese and an IV
we did shots in class this morning as part of a presentation. WHY AM I LEAVING THIS COUNTRY?!
It's gay pride weekend and Father's day.. So in honor of the occassions I am now BI
I don't think you understand what laundry day means. I am wearing a swimsuit as underwear and my spanish club tshirt from junior high
Apparently I yelled "Spring Break 1984" at a drunk couple fighting on the side of the road.
Went home with a male stripper who looked like Justin Timberlake.. I started singing cry me a river mid sex. When he sang along I fell in love
I drunkenly texted ur dad last night telling him he raised great kids hahahahaha
SCUSE ME I KNOW YOU DIDNT DO THAT MUCH COKE IN 10 MINUTES
This whole Rob and Chyna drama is giving me trust issues. I'm about to text my ex and be like if you haven't already deleted my nudes, can you?
he's been 21 for 38 minutes and he's already trying to fist fight this dude over his girl
awwwww babys first drunken mistake
Wait, I'm confused. I EMPTIED the bottle? as in consumed it? I'm impressed with myself.
Randomize
