6:33 AM: I'm drunk at this time of morning.
Bad news: I had to be at work at 7:15. Good news: no one had used the bathroom yet so I got to defile a freshly cleaned stall
What did you even date her?
because emotionally unstable girls are great in bed.
So all semester this guy and girl have been talking, and today is the last class and we are doing nothing. I would have skipped but I want to see if he seals the deal or pusses out. It's like a season finale.
masturbating is 5million times harder to finish knowing grandma is in the guestroom downstairs. just so you know.
Ok, so for future reference, in Rome, "piano bar" means "brothel".
I don't think boys are aware how difficult it is to take a picture of your own ass.
THERE IS A WINE CUBE IN MY ASS THIS IS NOT GOING AS PLANNED
Whats your number? 5 or more?
Cinco. It sounds smaller in Spanish.
Riding the train home at 6 am for class still drunk is losing its novelty in my junior year
Let us ponder on the good times. Ya know when the Jonas brothers were incapable of growing facial hair and I didn't fully understand what a dick looks like
I feel like I put a fire out with my hand but idk if that was a dream or not
she crossed my comfort zone...i thought i was a freak
said the guy with a pink sex swing...
He drove me to my therapist appointment because I was too drunk to drive. Total keeper.
Why did I wake up with a skeleton in my bed? Is it from the lab?
Oh crap, that's where it ended up. Yeah, don't ask.
Randomize
