i totally fed the cab driver fruit salad with my hands while he was driving
I think we need to find a happy medium between fried food and dicks. This could end badly.
Im going to buy a thermometer. If its above 104 im going to the hospital if its under 104 im going to the bar
Awkward family moment #1: walked in on my 15 yr old nephew packing a bowl. Nephew says- "lets not ruin christmas and keep this our little secret"
dude Steve you don't even know. its just been one hairy asshole after another.
We could be hammered at a childrens film. You failed me
So the night ended when we tried making fireworks out of gunpowder and oregano. You can figure out how that went.
Sorry I couldn't reference you in my facebook quote. I will redirect any likes and comments straight to my blowjob efforts this week.
It is not if she takes a guy home Karaoke night. It is how many.
Ok because I want to set a new world record for how fast I can drink away my Christmas money
I never thought I could be this turned on by a man wearing racoon tails.
We got caught fucking on the couch while I was in my Godzilla onesie.
HIS DICK IS GLORIOUS AND I WANT TO RIDE IT TO VALHALLA
did i get sucker punched in the face last night or was our make-out session just that intense?
You walked in with a bag of weed and asked for a watermelon. For some reason they actually gave you one, and you made it into a perfectly working bong. Two of them offered their girlfriends to you for the night.
Randomize
