GO HOME AND LIKE EVERYTHING ON COLT'S FACEBOOK UNTIL 2007.
Wtf it's a Friday night?
PRIORITIZE.
Dude I pulled down his pants and he already had a condom on
Its amazing how creative youll get when your house has been out of toilet paper for a week and a half
I'm just concerned it's gonna end up in my vagina again
Just got kicked out of two hot tubs. We were naked the second time. So awkward getting out in front of the security guard.
She busted her face in a tragic twerking accident. Marking the 2nd time I have peed my pants laughing.
The two of us decided to throw a spur-of-the-moment parade and the next thing I know we're 4 miles down the road being followed by 65 drunk strangers
My boyfriend just asked what time I was coming over. As soon as my old BF unchains me. I think he ran away.
I mean he did ask and he said it's cold out but i didn't realize we were that comfortable hahaha sex is one thing but borrowing a sweatshirt?
Locking that text forever.
I SHOULD NOT BE HAVING AN EXISTENTIAL CRISIS OVER PIZZA
Just had to double check that I had pants on. THAT kind of weekend.
Why did I wake up in bed with the ironing board and a Mariah Carey mask? Vodka hates me
But you put your finger in my ass and the rest is history
But on the bright side the arresting officer was just as hot as I remember and I took a pretty okay mugshot.
I’m good. I learned that a guy ate the mushrooms that were growing out of his toilet, so there’s that.
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