The guy next to me is watching porn. EVERYTIME I COME TO THE LIBRARY SOME RANDOM GUY NEXT TO ME LOOKS AT PORN.
Sorry you had to hear me puke. I didn't know I called you. Was it graceful?
the only plus side is that now I'll be able to tell my son not to trust the condoms that his college gives away..........
doing a bong hit while wearing crest white strips...not such a great idea...
are you just going to ignore any texts involving my penis from now on? because thats going to shut down a pretty sizeable portion of our conversations.
He's playing farmville on his phone while puking over the toilet..
i look like a southern belle. however, i am around a million kegs. so i will be a southern shitshow.
I just want to have sex and eat oreos. and then take body shots. like everyday.
I'm gonna give him birthday punches. On the dick. With my mouth.
At least I remembered to wear a bra. I feel like that's a big accomplishment right now
just so you know.. snorkeling hungover: great decision. I was throwing up and he couldn't even tell!
It was one of those mornings when I wake up and feel like I have to say sorry to the whole world
I appreciate having someone to objectively critique my dick pics.
Never thought an ATM max withdrawal could be such a good thing...
Pretty sure we're going to get a cease & desist notice from the Make A Wish Foundation, but until then...
Randomize
