whats a polygalesbian?
lesbian polygamists..duh.
What's the politest way to tell someone that you're only interested in them when they're naked, and even then it's just like a passing "meh?"
You were peeing on yourself thinking it was the sprinkler in your yard
Half my make-up was stuck to his thigh where I'd fallen asleep after the blowjob.
He puked, did more shots, and then pissed in a drawer. We thought it was bad enough and all of a sudden...boom-clothes come off and he passes out with slippers and a styrofoam hat on and a guitar hero guitar in hand pretending he was slash.
The bartender just hugged us goodnight. I think we go there too often.
Are you drunk? Because I am and if you're not, this may be very awkward in the morning
Thats for me to know and you to find out.
The ideal thing to do next party is to tape my boobs down so they don't knock over the pong cups while playing defense. They came back to hurt us this time
I'm sure he'll make the rejection quick and completely justified.
I had to rub one out before the Shabbat dinner in case I find a nice Jewish girl to fuck me in the bathroom.
Your mother would be so proud
He told me he felt like he was just pistol-whipped by Testicle Man.
I'll be honest, I too would punch the 21 year old version of myself in the face, and then have rough sex with him.
A cop may or may not have seen my bare ass against the moonlight within the past hour
You can't just bring up bondage and then stop answering me
Just try and act like you're sober
I can't I snorted an anti depressant and he's pouring me tequila shots
Randomize
