so my mom told me to suck on something if I have to cough. so I guess blow jobs are ok
oh and i'm sorry i sold you for three cigarettes last night
whatever buzz i had immediately ended when i saw her run through a sliding glass door
well the night couldnt get much worse after she peed all over herself and the sidewalk.
I drank all the drinks. And jump off roof. Yay
At least I can pee in a cup like a champ at this point
Is valentines day the worst or best day to ask for a threesome? I'm weighing some options on this high-risk manoeuvre.
That's like.....u just dangled a sex carrot in front of me then took it away!
I'm not drinking with you for AT LEAST a day
After I was kicked out of the last frat I blacked out, woke up in the hospital with no clothes no phone and no idea what happened last night. But i got hospital socks, thats a win in my book.
We need to make tonight low-budget
Is this your way of suggesting flasks?
You don't know how small your school is until you know everyone in the ER on a Friday night.
I've fucked him twice and literally had no idea that he's missing a thumb
anyways, do you want to make more embarrassing memories that im bound to remind you about later and laugh about?
Are you feeling better yet?
I need a nap and a new butthole
Randomize
