he said no sex till date three. i said the party was one, mcdonalds two and that i would take him with me to buy cigs for date three.
Youre on making sure I dont black out around fat chicks duty
im kinda looking forward to winter break. ive been away from home for so long i think i can trick my vagina into thinking that these arent the same people ive been hooking up with since high school...
his extensive knowledge of the age of consent laws kinda scares me....
Whatever it's Canadian jail, it's not like Guatemala or something. It'll be nice and cushy and they'll probably throw him a big bday party with all his friends and strippers
I found them. Thank God. Now I'm gonna have to take a Xanax for the panic attack I almost had trying to find my Xanax.
Building a door into the garage so when I bring girls home my mom doesn't wake up.
Pathetic yet considerate
We watched game of thrones, broke up and I drove away blasting ridin solo while he dougied
Last night was a "wash hands with dog shampoo" kind of night
Not exactly hook line and sinker right away, but I'll give him a second chance. I should sext him me in my blue shark onesie.
You were holding onto her boobs like you were adrift at sea and they were the only flotation devices
I just lost my handcuff virginity and not in the sexy way.
Seriously, I really just burned my nipple making ravioli.. I'd explain, but no reasoning makes this acceptable:/
A guy caught me talking to a sock today in the Laundry room if it makes you feel any better
Sadly that does. Why...where you talking to a sock
Bc I didn't know him and I asked him where he came from and why he was hanging out with my thongs
On a scale of having tea with Ghandi to the apocalypse how bad of an idea is it to drink with a 100 degree fever?
Randomize
