as for my dating sex life, no more regret sticks. Only pride wands from now on.
she just put all the cheese in the refrig to sleep.. and yes we did finish you bottle.
Soo both my 8 year old sister and fuck buddy are named Sarah..
this can't be going anywhere good
nooope. guess which one i texted last nite to come over so i could "punish her pussy"? =\
All I wanted to tell you is that I fucked a guy covered in fake blood, who circumcised himself.
My suggestion that we all just smoke some weed was greeted with a uncomfrotable silence and a 'maybe later'. These are not our people
I need to get skinnier so that I know when pregnancy scares are real...
The important thing is not that we avoid making mistakes, but that we avoid learning from them.
No you usually just ranted about the voicemail bitch until she cut you off again
Yesterdays boozy weather forecast has been extended to today
I just sneezed and it made my entire body ache. Hungover is an understatement
On a scale of one to liver failure, how bad would it be if I played thunderstruck alone?
So Bodhi just sent me a pic of someone's balls with a message that says "I hope you all have a ballin' night." I don't even know what level of friendship to call this anymore.
Oh my god.
The ballsiest level.
Hella random but just hear me out...A bar that is a petting zoo. Bitches love petting zoos.
Tinder in Coventry is like browsing a gallery of mugshots from Azkaban
By the way, you totally deserve "i got a job sex".
Randomize
