I'm still seeing blue. who wrote on my bare nipple?
I smell like Captain Morgan and tears
I'm at your house, laying with your dog, eating taco meat, take your time.
Listen, it's not like I meant to bust the window out. It just sort of happened. And I'm also sorry for stealing your dads bandanas.
I was standing when I hit it. I barely made it to the couch before the walls started turning into people.
I was blowing him while he was singing Happy Birthday to his girlfriend on the phone. I win.
Im about to get a baby alligator stoned, what are you doing with your life?
You chest bumped everyone we walked by on the way home... Even girls
i officially have over $300 in my bank account. that's a year's worth of chipotle.
You burned the hair off your arms. Again.
It grows back stronger each time.
I love how four vibrators are within reach of me right now, but not a single hair brush or comb
I haven't even sucked a boob is 6 weeks I hate not college
the guy I've been trying to get with saw my brother's genitals before he saw mine, so that's my life.
got some info she was last seen with some guy wearing goggles
Am I the only one who finds it completely appropriate to pre-game our Brazilians?
Randomize
