Yup u can hook up with me now and not goto jail
Theres this tee in the mall and it says all girls just wanna have safe sex. U make me think thats a lie
I'm going to knit you a pair of furry handcuffs. And you said that knitting class was dumb.
I need input, can I pre-game my cat scan?
Well there's nothing more unattractive them a naked, soft man crying
Oh good your over him
Fair enough. I'm gonna finish off half a bottle of Brunettes in the shower anf relive the good ol' days. We need a reunion
I've got the dick your vagina needs, but not the one it deserves right now.
The other guys kept waking up so I hid... Like, dick in mouth, hiding in his sleeping bag
Just because you have put things in my vagina does not mean you know me
Just want the two of you to know, I went to a golf tournament today. Respectable, expensive… Flipped the golf cart. Seriously, I'm 40. What the fuck?
After last night I am convinced that you are the human embodiment of alcoholism and bad decisions.
Hurry I'm alone dressed like a prostitute eating French fries.
I apparently lifted the young child over my head yelling "Victory!" after that last game of pool, right before doing some Girls Just Wanna Have Fun karaoke.
U NO SLUT. YOUR HEART IS JUST FREE.
I almost wrecked my car because of a guy in skinny jeans had a boner
Randomize
