Obv we're gonna bbm each other in bed
We can't ever have kids because there's a chance that they'll end up just like us.
Don't worry, there is no such thing as a fat, old or ugly blow job.
you kept yelling at her to "show me your genitals" until the bouncers told us to leave...at which point you showed them YOUR genitals...
please don't ever take me to a strip club again...
We're having the conversation about what happened last night, all we can come up with is that we came home, drank two litres of lemonade, I took one of her seizure pills and we fell asleep with sabrina the teenage witch on
he got promoted. that means i have now given my new boss chlaymida. i need a new job.
Im in search of the perfect penis, it would be unethical for me not to test run them.
Is this a genuine concern or are you just high?
JUST BECAUSE I'M HIGH DOESN'T MEAN ITS NOT GENUINE CONCERN.
We won't have time to talk.. I'll be rolling you a blunt and you'll be getting naked.
dude, you declined head because you wanted to tell her about how you put cinnamon in your weed. also, we're low on Chef Boyardee
So what are you going to be for halloween?
A woman sitting on her couch watching Hocus Pocus.
look on the scale of 1 to the time you hit an old lady with your car chlamydia barely even rates
I may or may not have definitely said the words "how do I put this beer in my purse without looking like an alcoholic" last night.
We can't go back there. Ever. No context required, just know it's true.
Yeah I'm just gonna stay here and spread my horniness to the world.
Randomize
