who the fuck tagged pancake nipples on my profile picture?
just walked into the room and her sister said loudly, "do him, or I will."
I dont think problem is the right word. Problems arent something you enjoy. Life would be too boring without gambling.
Just used my last prints at the library for brackets instead of final reviews. Hello March.
hey quick question, what would you consider to be a "first date" porn?
At victory brunch. Have a decent story. Im now eskimo brother with the duke mens basketball teams from 2002 to 2008 and obamas right hand man
Just warning you now f you do not get intoxicated with me in front of the family on thanksgiving we are not related.
You were naked too, so it cancels out. We're straight.
Fingerblasting some girl on the deck tryna get her to fuck on a lifeboat
Just saw some lesbians get in a fistfight in an Arby's parking lot. It's good to be home.
I feel a little uneasy about having my grandma sleep in my bed that I've banged chicks in not too long ago... Fuckin blizzards
Ok sry I left that ambiguous......did you want contact solution or fellatio?
During my first week as an adjunct prof, I played a fiercely fought game of squash with a law student and we wound up having hot, sweaty, angry sex right on the floor of the court. She is either the best or worst thing to happen to my academic career. Will let you know.
I legit measured his penis against my chapstick and it was too close to call. So that was my night.
I've been getting a lot of emails from patron lately for being a great customer. Is that awesome, or should I start thinking about seeking help?
Randomize
