Just passed a sign for an "adult food and fuel superstore". Wtf does that even mean?
im not sure but a few things come to mind which just makes me giggle
Guys should not giggle. Ever.
how do i tell her that i need alcohol to fuck her but at the same time i cant get a hard on with alcohol.
i jus got home and totaly forgot i had nut all over the back of my shirt
..im mad u rememberd about that
You know... If I put the same amount of effort into school as I put into giving women orgasms I would be a Rhodes scholar
Ever have those mornings where you just can't wait to puke in the shower?
im not even sure if i fucked her just woke up in her closet.
Tough to say exactly how to play this. I just know people don't like surprises when genitals are involved.
I didn't just randomly come up with it. But if you want to give me extra credit for creativity I have a bare chest and chocolate sauce left
When I was drunk texting him about three ways he seemed more interested in just seeing me. And that's when I knew something was wrong with him
If I don't quit picking up guys when I'm drunk, I'm going to need a vagina transplant.
quickly learned not to sleep with your roommate and work colleague in the same week
It was a bad idea to take ecstasy with cats in the house. No animal likes being touched that much. Let me know how your eye feels tomorrow
I paid for lunch, then he made a bunch of holes in my wall and destroyed my bathroom.
How did I end up with the cock ring?!
I love when Facebook suggests people I may know. Well, yeah, I know him. He's my drug dealer. Pretty sure I want to keep that relationship strictly professional.
Randomize
