Let's start a violent farting gang. We can do walkbys.
you said the mailboxes were turning into babies and they started crawling away. then you cried and asked me how you were gonna get your college acceptance letters
Im watching hello kitty on qvc debating if its a good idea to cook bagel bites on my space heater
Turned in a paper today on drug abuse. Chose to write about percocet. Just realized I started 2 sentences with "This amazing drug"
They just sang me a song about how small my dick is in front of the whole bar
I just made easy mac in my blender. Beat that.
Sorry if I'm being weird. I'm dipping doritos in cabernet.
halloween is SO much better on drugs, why didn't anyone let us know about this when we were kids
looking back it was a good thing we were too wasted to fire up the chainsaw
Think they will judge us if our pre drink is a kiddie pool of jello shots?
because i know somewhere at some party, behind someones closed bed room door youre being feed a key full of mollie.
Dudes don't just lick butts of chicks they're not into.
he fucked me while wearing his "Reagan Bush '84" tank and my inner democrat has never been more disappointed
I officially have worse injuries from a baby shower than roller derby.
Hey do u remember the time we used my mascara wand as a drink stirer?
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