what do you have against ST
DO NOT ABBREVIATE LIKE YOU AND STAR TREK ARE FRIENDS.
he's afraid if he sleeps with me i'll go all lavender brown on him
And I wrote a rap so it was actually a productive afternoon minus not paying our bills.
Dude, smoked out of a pumpkin tonight. I like Halloween more now
We don't need a hotel, we'll just sleep in the post office.
If people don't want my drunken phone call then TAKE YOUR FUCKING NUMER OFF OF FACEBOOK, like it's just that easy...
Omg. The nephews found my stripper pole. The scary part is theyre good at it.
My makeup looks extraordinary for nine tequila shots, running four blocks, falling asleep with my face in the toilet, and doing the walk of shame across campus in the rain. And to think I'm single.
Also I'm sorry for asking you to shave my vagina for me last night
You rinsed the beer pong ball off in my White Russian
Note to self:A blacklight toga party at a frat house is a bad idea. Some things cannot be unseen
My next goal in this relationship is to teach my boyfriend that there are valid reasons to be fear of dolphins completely.
You tried to stop drinking but then she started feeding you tequila with a spoon. You were like an adorable baby bird.
I just loudly threatened to kill a self checkout machine
Bad news man, we're gonna have to reschedule Golden Coral: The Musical
I don't know who the fuck this is, but right on man
Randomize
