Got some. In a truck. I will just pee you in the morning i guess?
Just heard "Kiss Me Though the Phone" for the first time. Amazed how it took Soulja Boy two songs to become a shitter version of Ja Rule.
That's the last time I fill my pockets with sushi.
I just mistook a monk for someone with the newest colored snuggie.
my mom told me that she didn't count me in the census because im a waste of life anyway.
He just said he was the Jesus of alcoholics.
Acid flashbacks - fact or fiction? Have been seeing a surprising amount of sparkly shit this afternoon...
I woke up in a place I've never been before, with people I've never met before using me as a table for domino's.
He showed me one of his balls and said "this one's free. you'll have to work to see the other.."
Valuable lesson learned: if you reach the point where you have to talk yourself in to finishing the last half of your beer, you shouldn't try.
I have just gotten home. I saw a lot of penis tonight. On a trampoline. Shit got weird.
This chick had a condom box organized by size with dividers that glowed in the dark.
This country song on the radio just had a rap break. What. No. Why.
So hungover that I might just sit in my car and wait until chipotle opens...in two hours...
Keep two things coming: nudes and puppy pictures
Randomize
