his life revolves around getting high and answering people on yahoo answers. he's perfect for you.
thanks for at least making it out of the pool before you threw up
Playing basket ball at the park with random people that showed up at 1am. the division of teams is based on what drugs people are on
Never thought I'd say this but I just want to go home, ice my balls, and pop a Vicodin.
How do people deal with hangovers? I literally want to eat my own face.
I really wanna know when trying to grow up turned into try not to throw up.
Came home plastered at 8am. Roommate had hot glued all the ashtrays and various items to their surfaces. Couldn't handle it. Went back to the bar.
She said it was unconventional for me to yell "Shazam!!" when I came inside her.
if I blackout nd am found tomorrow w butterfly hairclips on my nipples and my habd down my pants tell my family I am sorry
My mom and sister were over. When my drunk roommate came home, he yelled "GOT BITCHES IN MY CONDO"
It's the kinda thing that makes you wanna buy a rainbow flag and fight republicans and kiss girls
Drunk sperm are not productive sperm.
I just dropped a chicken nugget on the floor and seriously prayed that it would be ok....I think this job is making me crazy.
she just punched him in the balls in front of everyone and yelled "YOU SEE WHAT YOU MADE ME DO"
I really prefer to do my walks of shame in the summer
Randomize
