I'm eating oreos and watching porn. This is your fault.
friends don't let friends hook up with gingers.
You kept calling me your small dog last night.
i have to get rid of the hedgehog.
Does it come with a cage?
yes. and food and toys.
i'll trade you an 8th for it
deal.
trapped on the roof of the strip club. help
If he tries to stick his thumb up my butt again im going to rip his dick off with my vagina
I told you those kegels would come in handy one day
If we can only get laid once in a blue moon, apparently this will be our month.
I feel like I'm going to get the reputation of being the girl who brings her dog with her to all her random hookups.
You get home ok?
Uh, you stopped by my house at 4 am and woke me up, so yeah.
If the river was whiskey, it would be the best river ever.
Hey my dad gave me life the least I can do is take him chicken strips and a pack of marlboros.
The cup holder in my recliner holds a whole bottle of wine. That's definitely a sign.
I suggest both. Please have sex with them and prepare notes for a final comparison.
Bring shot glasses to the final. Don't ask questions.
Just got an exam care package consisting of only adderall wrapped in money. Score onr for mom.
Randomize
