you got in your car and made the sounds of a NASCAR, then called me on your phone and I was your pit crew. then you apparently you won the race, and THAT'S when you tried to backflip off the top of your car.
you started whispering 'the itsy bitsy spider' while you were putting your hands up my shorts.
You were scared that your teeth were shrinking so you stuck your fist in your mouth. then you were convinced your hand was growing cuz it got stuck so yu started crying
you sat in the middle of your kitchen floor feeding your dog blueberries one by one
This is going to be the summer remembered forever as the giant 3 month long mushroom trip.
I told you I'm not going to the Phillies game until we're tripping balls
so i might have figured out why that girl isn't talking to me...I'm 90% confident I didn't give her a pillow when she stayed over >.>
I'm sorry I never said I wasn't coming home last night. To my defense I did type and send a text, only I was too drunk to realize I sent it to the guy I was with instead of you.
You cried for a while then lifted lots of weights then cady's ex put glitter on your tits and then you took a nap. I got you pizza and brought you home. Nothing too exciting.
It also means I'm watching porn with mario earphones so i can hear. Possibly the best way to mastrabate EVER
so we just got back from swapping peoples patio furniture around to different patios. some people might like unexpected change. others might regret living on the ground floor.
You got naked in his car? Or the koala suit was in his car? One of those sounds a lot less slutty than the other......
If you can't trust the person at the taco cabana drive thru, who can you trust?!
we're gonna read the declaration of independence and do a shot for every word he doesn't understand.
Still riding the magical train of drugs so, yeah, Id say I feel great
Randomize