Could you imagine if a Skynet machine combination of Bob Ross and Chuck Norris were built? It would rule the universe with a soft spoken fan brush of kung fu dominance
It would be truly incredible. I hope we are blessed with this being in our lifetime.
People kept wishing me happy birthday last night. apparently i was 21st birthday drunk
You cant carve pumpkins without vodka. It's a Halloween tradition.
But Alex is drunk in Philly and I told him to come see me so that's "first-love,-drunk,-high,-and-it's-a-snow-day-hook-up-with-an-ex" points. 69
I'm drinking nothing but vodka and coffee for the next 48 hours. For science.
It is a sign that I need a fresh start when Kelly Clarksons new album tells the story of my life.
I've been vomiting all day.
All day? It's 10am.
It can't be Friday yet, in still getting friend requests of people I don't remember from last weekend
I was trying to drink every time they said planned parenthood but my body isn't cut out for this.
That's the second time the same cop pulled me over well a different girl was giving me road head
I'm drunk and he's still weird.
Accidentally drunk dialed my mom last night. Started the conversation with "Where you at girl?"
Like I’ve seen him completely trashed and I’ve also seen him rip shirtsleeves off with his teeth and I can’t tell if I’m intrigued or not
I have so much to do, no motivation, and Harry Potter is on. You KNOW whats taking priority in my life right now
It’s a prereq for med school, so I hope the professor likes blow jobs
Randomize
