I've been reduced to Capt. Morgan and Golden Girls reruns. Ugh.
how's this sound. You, me a box of pink franzia and a night full of possibilities in your basemen. I'll be me. You be you. And we'll see where it goes
im dirt poor will suck dick for halloween costume
How are you going to pay for strippers in Vegas when you were just begging for McDoubles?
I'm pretty sure I just overheard my boss call his sperm precious metal...
I vomited in the sink and my bra was in there...I don't even have words to describe this hangover confusion
you know it's the perfect hook up when you don't have any friends in common with his girlfriend on facebook.
studying for my Anatomy final and masturbating to Japanese porn are practically the same thing
I don't always steal things but when i do it is a six foot five dos equis guy
I walked into your room and you had fallen asleep smoking a cigarette. You just had the butt in your mouth with ash all over your face.
You just gave me the title for the series of our lives. Haha. Chapter 12: the cocaine on the back of the hairbrush
Watching Supernatural does more for me sexually than the physical encounters with 90% of the men in my life.
Video footage says last night I reincarnated as stripper Shania Twain... Man, I feel like a (slutty) woman.
He told me that when he bends me over that chair I remind him of a bull rider. So thanks for being the ex that helps my present sex life
Thanks for supporting me through Robs retirement. I'm still in shock, but your dick helped.
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