the night i cant remember will be the night i always remember thanks to my "i
the women in the ladies room did not appreciate my innovation of turning a sink into a urinal
is 69 when you're sideways or up & down? I was on my back & confused.
I'm gonna stay in bed all day and watch porn in an attempt to stay warm.
my boyfriend just told me he used to have genital herpes. I was gonna have sex with him, but now it's SOOO over.
what kind of stupid fuck tells you that BEFORE sex? he is definitely not a keeper.
Funny. I made out with his brother for the first time in a bathroom too.
Nothing says Welcome to America than having the international house watch a sorority girl puke over the edge of the porch at 8am.
Don't ask me how, but I have a squirrel in my backpack and I don't know what to do with it.
I FINALLY GET TO MASTURBATE. SO EXCITED.
You can't just snapchat me a picture of a pregnancy test and then not answer your phone
When are your genitals available?
No, gay couples have the same problems straight ones do; I wish that we could go back to the days when he would shit with the door closed.
You spent the whole night conversing with your zombie poster, so I'd say you were pretty far gone.
Yeahh. im on the phone with him drunk. he told me he found a pigeon in a cardboard box and named it quincy...
I collect Covid conspiracy theories like I collect Pokemon.
Randomize
