im orety awesome arent i? relly i know i am
I only have two rules. But i've fotgotten those rules and replaced them w 2 other rules
Fuck. I have a girl here waiting on me in my room! I told her I was going to get a drink of water... I'm in the bathroom taking a dump... I have mudd butt bad... There's NO toilet paper!!
Make me a promise>>> if you ever see the brats from that tv show NYC Prep walking around, you will trip them, and you wil throw drinks on them
She just used a turkey baster to transfer alcohol from the glass to the bottle. Just thought you should know
I have a spoon shaped bruise on my ass...
I've been very busy/drunk lately... Sorry.
I like my landing strip. Makes me feel sophisticated.
What you did last night can never be called sophisticated. I don't care how you trim your pubes.
the cab driver asked if you were our mom. you definitely shouldn't have tipped him so much.
I just took two shots of Burnerts out of a ladle. Get here now.
Come here I'm naked
And I want mozzarella sticks
I'm literally beginning to think that my sex dreams are prophesies
We had sex and I never took my mets hat off... I feel like Duda knows and approves.
I just had to explain why I ate a whole quart of mac and cheese before 8am. Not a good start to the day
The economy isn’t reopen until I can get drunk and motorboat fake tits at lunch on a Wednesday
Randomize
