im in his phone as 'great ass to tap'
Alcoholism comes in two forms... Us.
He came into the hospital yelling "HEY EVERYBODY! REMEMBER ME?"
I got lit on fire and andy went to jail last night. Totally unrelated incidents though.
I woke up with like grass burns all over my body, i'm pretty sure i made out with someone under a bus. . . but i'm not sure
If you were a real friend you would have told me you saw me in a porno despite how awkward of a convo it is. You act like I should always know when I'm being recorded.
I could have made money off of that but no you had to wait 2 years to drunkenly tell me this shit.
If you value your immune system buddy, walk away from that one.
She was trying to drink out of the beer bong and she thought it didn't work. Little did she know there was no beer in there. Then she got mad at us. Girls.
there is a hole burned clean through my text book on forestry law and I saw you walking around with a blowtorch last night. Hope you have $160 on ya...
Hold your horses dude. Titty pics are a work of art.
Dude, I'm thinking today is Single as Fuck Friday because that's how I'm feeling
just move with us, we wanted to get a dog. youre kind of the same thing..
So, were you planning on telling me you left your panties in my glovebox??
He puked all over the side of the car and the head rest behind him...and then all he said was "America."
Don't drink and try to take a shower. I thought I was drowning
Randomize