I know right? mind you this is the same woman who told me when I was 12 that oral sex just meant talking dirty
no, its his 'welcome back from rehab' party.
Oh please, I could turn a Vienna Boys Choir concert into a shit show
Let's just say there's a reason that "suede" rhymes with "laid".
How do you tell if you're on the terrorist watch list?
when she was 9 she got kicked out of our 4-H camp dance for pole dancing on the spirit stick
When the cop tells you to leave the pool, does that mean you have to put your bathing suit back on too?
Watching the dude who probably knocked me up be all cute with his girlfriend on my couch. I am too nice, and I hate today.
Like, what's the customary waiting period to hookup with your newly single ex that you never stopped hooking up with?
I have to date her we need a place to stay for tailgating
Yup. Dog walker, house sitter and mistress to the rich, bored and bi-curious. I've got a nice little operation running.
I thought it was pretty weird, but after the marinating loins thing, i figured i'd roll with it.
My sex toys have been held in customs for almost a month now. They're British, what the hell?!?
And somehow i feel like your expectations will turn out to be illegal in some way.
He's throwing Skittles into my cleavage and some are rebounding into my crouch.
Well he's scoring either way then.
Randomize
