Im glad youre not pregnant with that New Jersey assholes baby. Your vagina would have smelled worse than Newark.
He brought over a 20 dollar bottle of wine. Who does that? This is college.
dude ... she has a full length mirror in her shower, don't even tell me shes not dtf
Most eventful shower ever. Jacked off, peed and puked in there.
I saw you sitting on top of my car trying to row back home... Did you make it?
walking back to the dorm.. she is flashing evryone, demanding beads. we tried to stop her and now she just keeps yelling "Bourbon st bitchesss"... you get her tomorrow
Mom said you looked used
I should just black out in my front yard again- that was a great nights sleep.
He just told me what he wants for his birthday. "a noise complaint" he also said he wants to be the cause of all the noise but he won't be the one making the noise.
I need a "closed for the season, thanks for a great summer" sign for my vagina
Just to be a PITA after I die, my will leaves 1 cent to each of my FB friends. I hate my lawyer.
Thanks for the Beyonce article. In other news, I just passed a man with the state of Florida tattooed on his face.
My sunday was babysitting three big, drunk, crying Swedes. Unless your day involved four or more giant drunk swedes I don't want to hear about it.
I don't know. Sometimes you can be a wild card with your emotions. Mostly the emotion known as anger.
Woke up at 5am in an elevator... Pretty much tells you how my weekend went.
Randomize
