I feel odd... a had sex with a chick and she keept her socks on...
Well. Nothing came of that. And to think I manscaped and dusted with gold bond.
Those balls look pretty dangerous.
yeah he didnt know till after their one year. You have no idea how bad i wanna say "dude i sucked on those boobs before you"
finally remembered how I know that chick in my history class. she made and fed me ramen when I was wasted!
I feel like I have to sign a death waver before I have sex with him...
I got a text saying, "It's so great to throw tomatoes at seagulls."
Is it bad that I coached my cousins 6 year old boy to steal a 30 rack of keystone out of an unattended cooler at our family reunion, or was I just giving him a social head start in high school? I err on the side of awesome.
I really wanna just be like, can you just eat me out and stop whining
I think that would solve a million problems
Didn't want to waste the cheese dust from the white cheddar popcorn, so I gave him a handjob, followed by the most delicious blowjob ever. Win-win.
My doctor said I can only have one drink at a time, ever, from now on. My life has officially started its decline.
If you kill yourself you won't get to feel that feeling when you have a good shit in the morning. Arent you gonna miss that?
If you hear death cries, thats me singing. Just let me be.
Nice people suck dick too. I'm proof.
My debit card was between my ass cheeks when i woke up. i vaguely remember putting it there for safe keeping
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