i know we just met, but i forget your name, and i'm wondering why my penis burns?
Pride was great cause we really can now appreciate how far we've come as gay people!
Doll, if you're still fucking strangers behind the WeHo Sonic while high on E then we've come as far as 2003...
This just in: Jon Gosselin's address-The Alexandra. I bet if we showed up he'd date us.
One of the mothers are the party said to me "All your friends are getting married, you're just getting drunk"
Day 3. Will have to postpone job hunting by a month. May have blown out my knee. Was sunburned on Friday. Now look painted red. Still alive. All worth it.
Based on how hungover I feel today, it makes more sense that the bouncer didn't let me in to that bar.
Okay, thats embarrasing even by my standards and I've thrown up while wearing a viking hat. just a viking hat.
The gay bar tender told me I looked like Prince William. And that I needed my balls licked.
i was drinking at the bar last night with a guy with no bottom teeth, wearing zubas and a polka dotted hat. if that isn't the definition of wisconsin, i dont know what is
I may be in the process of acquiring a second male fuck buddy and dating a girl....FUCKING STOP THE TRAIN I'M ON! THIS IS NOT A DRILL!!
I think sneezing out coked up boogers onto your professor disqualifies you from the "I was sick" excuse
Hold on... Are we having an intellectual conversation about porn?
Yup
I love us.
got a blowjob in the bar bathroom, got arrested for public intoxication, and found a big bag of weed on the ground on my walk home from the station. my friday night could have been a movie
... and smoked a joint with my new landlord. I'm starting to like Germany.
I mean she did throw a tantrum because you wouldn't let her suck your dick
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