ohhh my god. this party should be titled "my hookups of summers past" be expecting some good stories tomorrow
Now would be a great time to stop wondering " Who let the dogs out" and go to sleep
You would only drink if the space jam soundtrack was playing, you thought it was hilarious that before every shot you said "y'all ready for this".
I had sex with him, and then he gave me a $5 Starbucks gift card. Totally worth it
oh hey just found a glowstick in my tits. fuck yes new years eve
We just stood on the porch wondering how you managed to puke up a whole piece of bologna
I really hope I'm not the first person who's had to wash vomit off of cash and credit cards.
I hope my sperm were as drunk as I was.
Sometimes I seriously wonder if I could get away with vodka Sundays at work. Cuz this red bull feels naked.
Whatever, the fact of the matter is that I saved you from poorly planned outdoor sex by doing a rain dance and you should totally thank me.
It's really sad that I'm trying to calculate in my head the type of place to have dinner that's worth anal
New brilliant plan: invite two random okcupid girls to the same bar at the same time, have them compete
I THINK it was the lead singer. Whoever he was, I have his number and his dick was pierced.
It was totally the lead singer.
The cops wrote boobs in the police report. ...vandalism is our calling
I wasnt 2 drunk i sobered up around the time we were shooting the fire extinguishers
Randomize
