i just overheard a girl at the next table saying she gave up sex for lent
don't you ever do that...
dude i just figured out that the tostitos sign is two people eating chips and salsa. being high totally pays off sometimes
i want to cheat with him just to show his girlfriend what a terrible person he is.
well the first picture of me in 2011 involves a viking helmet and chugging champagne. i like this year already.
note to self: an IV pole is no substitute for a stripper pole. Written it on my ankle cast.
i've never seen someone face fit so perfectly in a toilet bowl
Soo time for a life change, my 6 yr old sister made my gf a puke bucket for her birthday
Remind me again why a vodka watermelon can't be a thanksgiving dish
We're high and this subject came up and I'd like a female opinion: if you were a dude, what would you do if a girl tried to give you a foot job?
I'd go lesbian for $50 and a good phone case.
Also, I called my liver hardcore in front of vet students last night and then wound up having three of them trying to palpate it. So...not saying that again.
I didn't know where you were for like 15 minutes and then I went in the bathroom splashing water on the mirror and throwing hand towels around saying that you were "redecorating"
Gay?
German.
Pity.
We should leave before they realize I dumped a bowl of Fritos in your bag just in case I got hungry
Just watched a guy open his car door, puke, close it, and resume driving. Happy Monday.
Randomize
