I just accidently tagged myself in the picture of the 16 year olds spreading their legs in bikinis. Failure.
She was adopted and used to dance at Sapphire. just my speed.
i knew she was desperate at the point in which she started showing me her naked pics on her phone
i had confetti in my bra
i still find it in random places like a shoe or my car. that week haunts me
Wise words from the guy who drunkenly chipped his teeth on the sidewalk
Crosswalk actually
I just found a tail you can wear naked. Via a butt plug. Who ever said the internet was a good thing?
I experienced pure joy just moments ago when I looked down and saw that I had another pop tart to consume down my mouth hole.
that man is just a bundle of powerful magic and poor judgment
yea I went to the store high again.. I think we're having pie for dinner.
My vibrator looks like a lipstick tube. So does my mace. I just realized the potential problems of keeping them both in the same bag.
I'm getting paid over-time to sit on reddit and look at dicks and abs all day. I'm really happy right now.
For a girl who cried from fear the last time she was asked out, this. Is. TERRIFYING!
You just kinda wondered into the street and started screaming at dogs and small children...
He howled at the moon then told me that if i were a dog he'd have sex with me...either i look like that girl or i need to stop going on blind dates. Period.
are you inviting me to ice cream?
the subtext of everything i say to you is inviting you to ice cream
Randomize
