I hate u. Im listening to lady gaga and all i can hear is boca base om om om ommmm
I am really glad that on the inside of a card from your grandparents you have transcribed the rules for circle of death
Just got cockblocked by coyotes. This would happen to me.
She said she was an education major and you replied with "oh I'm taking a semester off too". And we never saw her again...
I'm paying a homeless guy $20 to follow me around bars tonight with a boombox playing the theme to Rocky.
His penis makes me feel like a mystic dragon sliding down a turbo slide covered in white gumdrops and sour cashews
Same.
she looks like one of those semi-pretty girls that turns into a 9 while she's riding your cock like she's trying to catch a train on horseback.
You had me at "mimosas" several texts ago.
She asked for her virginity back. I don't know what to say
We are both federal employees and Obama gave us a four-day weekend to lie in bed. Do you know how many orgasms that will be? I knew there was a reason I voted for this guy.
You just want me for my pizza coupons and my penis.
Can you repeat that, but with context?
So I don't think the seahorse breeding thing is gonna work.
That was random, even for you Mom.
Been smoking since 4. The inevitable finally happened: I bought a cheesecake.
I have to touch the horse lube. :-(
Randomize
