you know that annoying kid in my psych class? accidentally hit him in the face with a door today. perfect end to the semester.
i refuse to live in a world where loud threesomes in your own apartment are referred to as "rude"
did you yell "are you not entertained?"
She didn't know my name but she knew I was Canadian so she just called me Canada. It sounded like the national anthem when we were fucking.
Passed out on her toilet. Dog licked my face to wake me. Awkward talk with her boyfriend, who hadn't been home last night. Not sure exactly what town I'm in, but I'm south. Will call for ride when I figure it out.
About to see some guy and give him a glance that tries to express how sorry i am for blowing his friend while he was getting a BJ in the same room
Well, it was good.. One step forward for my vaj.. One giant leap backwards for my integrity.
Have your arms or hands ever gone numb after drinking too much?
Wtf did you do last night?
Are some dicks heavier than others? Random question as I'm feeling mine.
She was throwing my stuff away and then before I knew it she was sucking my dick. It was like some fucked up sour patch kids commercial
Having a heartfelt conversation with your boyfriends mom while sexting her son. If that's not multitasking, I don't know what is.
I feel like captain Morgan put his peg leg up my ass
She said her name is "Goose" and regardless of her being a lesbian, sometimes she just "needs a good dick"
I don't remember that much at all. But I guess I met this guy from New Zealand and his dog, and then I punched someone in the face.
Turns out that fresh outta jail dick is quite something.
Just realized that my booty calls are vastly ranging in penis sizes.
Randomize
