um. i met him on myspace...we text now, he lives down the street
Once again you get dinner and all I get is semen on my leg
i just got so high i needed a buddy system to the kitchen
It's gotten to the point where even copying off yahoo answers is still way too much work.
the girl next to me in class is drinking a margarita out of a slurpee cup. i know your going to ask how i know its a margarita and the answer is i can smell the tequila. i never want to leave this place
Knitting and drinking wine. Forget my 21st birthday, might as well just skip to my 60th
But i guess when you use blowjob as a verb you are entitled to some language allowances
He sprained his penis one time
He was "naked wrestling" and fell off the couch and landed on his erect penis
He was on my bed looking at me like a sacrifice to the gods of gay sex and he's definitely a bottom. Like Jesus Christ a really, really great ass of a bottom.
I just hit your bf in the face with a mustard bottle and the guy at the table next to us bowed down to me.
If I'm not drunk and wearing a penguin hat by the time we are done opening Christmas presents then coming home for Christmas was a complete failure
Nothing says "Hello, Adulthood!" quite like receiving a dick photo at 11AM from a guy you haven't heard from since fifth grade.
Like who turns down taking a nap inside of someone in 2014.
I finally figured out how to tighten my bra straps and I feel like a god
its weird getting into a political debate with a pony dressed as an anime character online
Randomize