its like whenever the snow comes all the hott girls drop out of school. where are they
don't get me wrong, i love how you're fun and free spirited. but there are some situations...like shooting down a bottle of sambuca standing in the shallow end topless surrounded by my friends
What's the address?
Too drunk. Just google it.
IT'S YOUR HOUSE
I texted him that I wanted to be more than fuck buddies so when I came over he gave me a punch card. He takes me I dinner every 10 fucks.
These fuzzy pants work great for sleeping, taking an exam, getting baked and watching the hobbit. I guess i'm not changing pants for 72 hours.
This is that think about life weed. Thank god I'm in American lit this semester. I can actually write papers in this vat of introspective stoned.
I think I just smoked a piece of your foot. Were u picking your feet by the weed?
He called me khaleesi while I rode his dick. He wins
I just watched an old episode of Daria while eating brownies to cure day drunkness. Clearly I'm winning at adulting today.
Last night a drunk chick tried to lick me. If you are trying to lick the zombies, you are too drunk for the haunted house.
You're the only person I know who's experienced a micropenis and a magnum XL penis
Already doing pt exercises by picking my margarita up off the night stand. Fuck yeah.
We fucked on the roof... like that has to mean something
I just don’t understand what sort of USPS worker wants to take my unitard and sex toys.
I just found your "it's drinking time" note in my chem notes. Why did this never happen??
I was waiting for you to find it...I'll be over in 5
Randomize